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Kids staying out

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Kids staying out

Post by xmcnickyx on Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:55 pm

Evening temporary mofos afro

I know there's probably been a billion threads about this before but I need to get it out. I'm only talking about what's right for me here btw, if other people let their kids stay overnight with their family/friends then that's their business and nothing to do with me Wink

Molly is staying in my sisters tomorrow night (I think, I keep changing my mind! Rolling Eyes ) It'll be the first time she's stayed out and I'm so worried about it. I think she'll be fine, she loves my neices and my sister and BIL are great with her so I know she'll be well looked after. But I think she's a bit too young and worry about her waking up and us not being ther for the first time. We're going to a gig in Manchester so if I need to I can go get her when we get home and I can leave my sister my keys so she can bring her home if she wants to.

Everyone I've spoken to makes me feel (or actually tells me I am) over protective and wierd for worrying. If they ask how old she is and I tell them almost three, I expect them to understand and say that she's still young, it's understandable but instead everyone seems to be like 'WHAT? She's not stayed out yet?'

I don't think it's overprotective to worry about her being upset that we're not there. People keep saying 'She has to stay out sooner or later' and I can't help thinking, why? I know she will stay out at some point but why do I have to start getting her to stay out when just for the sake of it? I don't doubt there might be times that she might need to stay out (like if I have another baby maybe or if one of us is really ill or something) but I don't really know why it's necessary otherwise tbh.

I didn't stay out till I was about 9 and I cried and had to be brought home Embarassed But I ended up being fine the next time and I don't think I have any major issues staying away from home now like so I doubt it really affected me (though our new matress makes me never want to sleep out again) I know she'll probably have loads of fun, she loves her cousins, they're so cute together. One is the same age as her and the other is 6 and like a little mum to them both, I'm sure she'll love it but I am nervous.

How old was your LO when they first stayed out and were they ok?

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Re: Kids staying out

Post by Julie84 on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:00 pm

Jessica stayed at my parent's overnight about 8 weeks ago. I had to go away for a night for work otherwise I wouldn't have let her - I cried that night. Embarassed She was fine, by al accounts she had a great time, but I found it hard and I do prefer her being with me.

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Re: Kids staying out

Post by xmcnickyx on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:01 pm

Awww, I know I'll cry! I nearly cried telling the girls at nursery about it today! Rolling Eyes


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Re: Kids staying out

Post by angelcake on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:05 pm

Personally I think if she's with people she knows and trusts even if she wakes up she'll be fine. No they won't be mummy or daddy but they will do for the night.

Try and relax and unless they call for you, just try and enjoy the moment Smile
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Re: Kids staying out

Post by LisaJ1986 on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:12 pm

I'm completely with you on this one. I have to leave Angel next week as i have a Lee Evans gig.
She'll be in Boston and i'll be miles away in Nottingham, like 2 hours drive away. I can't get back to her straight away if i want to, and she's so shy and wary.
She's 3 years 4 months and never stayed out. She adores my SIL and her baby cousin, but she's not keen at all on BIL. If she plays up at bedtime or something, which is something she is prone to, and he says something to her, she'll get upset and beg for me. I just know it. I'm so scared of leaving her, and not being nearby. I keep thinking "What if something happens while i'm not there?" or "what if something happens to us?" I can't bare it. She's my world. I'm so looking forward to this concert, but scared i'll ruin it for myself by worrying myself sick.
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Re: Kids staying out

Post by Suzie and her Girls on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:16 pm

I was unsure the first few times but now I'd do it whenever the offer was there :p Faith was 2 and a half when she first stayed out - and Ellie stayed with her and she was only 15 months BUT I was happier that they were together.

Don't do it if you don't want to, there is no need feel like you have to. But equally don't feel guilty if she does go, she'll have a ball!

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Re: Kids staying out

Post by SassyJay on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:21 pm

I feel like i'm in the minority for leaving my youngest (6 weeks) with my SIL a couple of weeks ago. Neutral

My eldest (4 years) stay over my Mums, Dads and SIL's alot of the time. If she wants to stay there and its ok with who will be looking after her then i let her.

When my SIL had both the girls a few weeks ago, i'll admitt i wasnt sure on what to do with myself. But in the end me and OH went to bed at 7:30pm and woke at 11am. I think we needed it.

Everyones entitled to a break, you'll enjoy it more than you think. Wink

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Re: Kids staying out

Post by Eva~Marie on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:46 pm

I think mine started staying over at their friends houses when they were about 7. I think if you trust where they are going and know that they will be safe, plus you can call and check that they are ok, then its good to encourage a bit of independence from mum and dad. Also it gives you a break, even though at the beginning its hard. flower
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Re: Kids staying out

Post by xmcnickyx on Tue Aug 30, 2011 4:06 pm

SassyJay wrote:But in the end me and OH went to bed at 7:30pm and woke at 11am. I think we needed it.

I am very jealous! Laughing

I reckon half the reason I feel so guitly is because I don't feel like I need a break. I'm happy with a night out (we've had a few recently) and having a babysitter for the evening. It's so much easier for her to stay there and I know she'll have fun (she cried when she was coming home from there on Saturday night cos she wanted to stay Rolling Eyes ) and will be well looked after.

I know though that I will worry loads more knowing that she's staying out and might get upset. For the most part I think I'm quite a rational parent, the rational part of me knows she'll be fine and even if she does wake up asking for us, my sister and BIL will be able to calm her down if she gets upset but I can't help worrying Sad

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Re: Kids staying out

Post by Xena on Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:37 am

Lydia stayed at SIL's house once at 9 months old, a few times at MIL's when she was 22 months old when we were moving house, and for 2 nights at my best friend's house when she was 22 months old when I was giving birth to Alex.

Then between the ages of 2 and 5 she stayed at MIL's house every Monday night.
Since then she's slept at MIL's house a couple of times during school holidays when she was 5 (but not during the summer hols as now there's no room for her).

Alex didn't stay overnight anywhere until he was 2, but then between the ages of 2 and 3 he stayed every Monday night at MIL's with Lydia. Since then he slept at MIL's house a couple of times during school holidays when he was 3 (but not during the summer hols as now there's no room for him).

Jason is 23 months old and has never slept anywhere other than home.

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